01
“One thing I’ve noticed,” her index finger circling the rim of the wine glass, “is that you never talk about your wife.”
02
There was very little chance of rebellion in the countryside when the peasants were well-fed.
03
I axed ‘em for a light. Sez he don’t smoke—only cocksuckers smoke. So I punched ’em in the face.
04
Wanted: used bricks, red, in good condition. Will pay top dollar and haul away from location. No questions asked. Email replies only.
05
Somewhere out there is a girl in a bright yellow raincoat with matching boots, waiting for the bus.
06
Make yourself at home. There’s beer in the fridge, clean towels in the bathroom—down the hall, second door on the right.
07
Over time, they learned to ignore and tolerate their respective faults and weaknesses.
08
It’s not that I particularly enjoy drinking alone but it seems that whenever I’m drinking I seem to be alone.
09
James, please stop kicking my chair. Thank you, James. James, I’m not going to ask you again. Stop…kicking…my…chair!
10
He folded the money and placed it on the night stand. “Let me stay with you,” she said. “Not tonight,” he replied.
11
Don’t come any closer.
12
No matter what the occasion, Carmen waves hello and goodbye with the same kind of enthusiasm typically reserved for special occasions.
13
The fire was too high and the pan too hot to fry bacon. There was a great deal of smoke.
14
Keith reached in his pocket, produced several small, balloon-shaped bundles, dropped them on the table and said, “Take your pick.”
15
In that moment, Sandra realized what a horrible mistake she’d made.
16
Happy Hour 6 to 8 pm every Friday. Free snack buffet. One dollar draft beer.
17
It’s a boy!
18
The human digestive system is not equipped to metabolize corn.
19
He longed for the days when airport lounges were smoky and secretaries knew shorthand.
20
I believe I can fly.
21
The rain falls harder and faster when you’ve forgotten to carry an umbrella.
22
Pink sun dress, glowing white skin, smoldering brown eyes, black hair pulled back and pinned up, eight months pregnant, smoking a cigarette.
23
If I don’t get to a toilet soon, there are going to be a lot of unhappy people on this bus.
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