Dedicated to my brother, Bobby Camp (1969-2015) who introduced me to more bands than I can count.
Frank Zappa (among others) once said something along the lines of writing about music is like dancing about architecture.
That’s wrong. If listening to music is an experience, then writing about said experience is just as valid as writing about a trip to India. You can write about anything you want.
More to the point, Zappa was responding to criticism of his own work, and the real gist of what he said is that music critics just don’t get it –“it” being his latest album of guitar solos and nothing but guitar solos.
On a certain level, the incongruity of dancing about architecture may be relevant in this context. There are dozens if not hundreds of records on the 1001 Albums list that I just don’t get, and thus, there is very little I can write except to acknowledge the fact that their essence escapes me, very much like the appeal of every boy band since Menudo.
However, on an artistic level, the only thing I enjoy as much as making music, is listening to music, reading and/or writing about music. It’s impossible to estimate how many of my favorite artists were discovered by first reading about them. There are several records from 1985-86 that I never would have heard if not for reading an album review in Rolling Stone.
That said, 1985-86 is a minefield for Albums You Should Never Hear Before You Die…For Real. As I perused the extraneous lists of albums released during this period, half the time I was thinking, “Christ, nobody should have to listen to that.” Allow me to toss out a few zero-star examples.
Albums You Should Never Hear Before You Die…For Real: 1985-86
1985
Phil Collins – No Jacket Required
Screw death metal, man. This is the most hurtful, sinister, malicious, hostile, bitter, pernicious, malevolent, spiteful, baleful, injurious, cancerous, virulent, metastatic, and irremediable quasi-rock album ever released…
David Hasselhoff – Night Rocker
…except for this one.
You know where Hasselhoff was popular? Germany – the Japan of Europe. Night Rocker went to #1 in Austria and #30 on the German charts. Der Hoff’s fourth album Looking For Freedom (1989) was his first #1 in Germany. It’s really no fun hating on this guy because he is what he is: Der Hoff. And I bet he’s a great guy and very charming in person. He had that pathetic drunken YouTube clip incident back in 2006, but he’s reprising his role in Sharknado 3, coming soon to a theater near you. Raise your hands if you saw either Sharknados 1 or 2. And you know what, I dug Knight Rider. The talking car satisfied my appreciation for animatronics on television, which is also why I loved ALF. Anyway, der Hoff’s music is Scheiße.
Mick Jagger – She’s the Boss
USA For Africa – We Are the World
Everybody involved with the making of these two albums deserves at the very least to have their car towed from the studio parking lot. Or have their luggage lost at LAX. Or have their smart phone slip down through the grating of a storm drain. Some kind of material misfortune that isn’t going to cause any physical harm per se, just a taste of heartache.
How many people are we talking here? Not including record company wonks, the following:
She’s the Boss
Mick Jagger, Wally Badarou, Jeff Beck, John “Rabbit” Bundrick, Ray Cooper, Aïyb Dieng, Sly Dunbar, Bernard Edwards, Steve Ferrone, Anton Fier, Anton Fig, Guy Fletcher, Bernard Fowler, Jan Hammer, Herbie Hancock, Colin Hodgkinson, Bill Laswell, Chuck Leavell, Ron Magness, Eddie Martinez, Alfa Pickett, Lenny Pickett, Daniel Ponce, Nile Rodgers, Robert Sabino, Robbie Shakespeare, Michael Shrieve, G. E. Smith, Tony Thompson, Fonzi Thornton, and Pete Townshend
We Are the World
Dan Aykroyd, Harry Belafonte, Lindsey Buckingham (Fleetwood Mac), Kim Carnes, Ray Charles, Bob Dylan, Sheila E., Bob Geldof, Hall & Oates, James Ingram, Jackie Jackson, La Toya Jackson, Marlon Jackson, Michael Jackson, Randy Jackson, Tito Jackson, Al Jarreau, Waylon Jennings, Billy Joel, Cyndi Lauper, Huey Lewis and the News, Kenny Loggins, Bette Midler, Willie Nelson, Jeffrey Osborne, Steve Perry, The Pointer Sisters, Lionel Richie, Smokey Robinson, Kenny Rogers, Diana Ross, Paul Simon, Bruce Springsteen, Tina Turner, Dionne Warwick, Stevie Wonder
Dead or Alive – Youthquake
Heart – Heart
Starship – Knee Deep in the Hoopla
Mike + the Mechanics – Mike + the Mechanics
The Clash – Cut the Crap
Aerosmith – Done With Mirrors
Six of the worst records ever made. It’s also ironic because the one thing Joe Strummer and the Clash sans Mick Jones didn’t cut was the crap. They left the whole log in the bowl, for all of us to enjoy.
1986
Black Sabbath – Seventh Star
This is a Tony Iommi solo record with Glenn Hughes on vocals, and it’s peerlessly awful. Who the fuck is Glenn Hughes? Good question. Iommi is a Greatest of the Great Ones, which makes an album like this even more hurtful and disappointing.
Van Halen – 5150
You’d call them Van Hagar either dismissively or lovingly, and as Sammy Hagar points out in his book, Red: My Uncensored Life In Rock, Warner Bros. asked them to consider renaming the band in like manner.
My general beef with Sammy preceded his tenure in Van Halen, and I don’t hold him responsible for records like 5150, the first in a long line of heart-breakingly terrible Van Halen records. But I have a fair question: Would the bulk of 5150 sound as bloated, slick and phony with David Lee Roth on vocals? Probably. Maybe. I don’t doubt it, and it’s possible.
For my listening dollar, it’s not really about Hagar vs. Roth, though I’m clearly on Team DLR. This record blows for several other reasons; most importantly, it marks the spot where the band began to take itself seriously. Won’t you tell me, where have all the good times gone? Love him or hate him, Roth didn’t just show up to party; he was the party. Hagar showed up and invited a bunch of meatheads out to the parking lot to goon over his ’67 Mustang.
Van Halen were inherently cornball, which, including EVH’s smug fretboard showboating, was clear from the get-go. Dave did the shuck n’ jive with his tongue in cheek, and it was good, cornball fun. The minute you take the humor out of their music, it becomes a stale confection. At the same time, maybe the reason you didn’t like Van Halen before 5150 is precisely because DLR pushed the envelope on the Jim Dandy routine. Moreover, you liked Sammy’s solo work. “I Can’t Drive 55” was your hot jam. Then this record would have given you legitimate reason to like it.
Above all, 5150 features not one but two cringe-worthy power ballads that most likely would not exist if DLR was still in the band: “Love Walks In” and “Dreams”.
Finally, aside from the title track, the forgettable riffs and ho-hum hooks are few and far between. Eddie Van Halen may have officially run out of ideas on guitar. He’s still flying up and down the neck and being silly with the whammy bar, but the underlying rhythms are predictable, plodding and unremarkable. That’s where Sammy, a respectable but choogle-driven guitar player in his own right, stepped in. How many of these songs were partially composed by Hagar is anybody’s guess, but with its new pop sensibility, 5150 went straight to the top of the charts. And they’d make three more records in the vein of 5151, 5152, 5153, before Sammy’s wheels came completely off the Van Halen bus.
And more than any rock record of the period, 5150 is the most polished turd you’ll ever encounter.
New Kids on the Block – New Kids on the Block
Europe – The Final Countdown
Journey – Raised on Radio
Genesis – Invisible Touch
Other than Jefferson Airplane-Starship, it’s hard to name a band that over the course of its lifespan went from heroes to zeroes like Genesis. In other words, very few bands evolved from specialized, exquisite art-prog to peddling satanic adult contemporary in less than a decade. Plenty of other bands went down the tubes and wound up in places they later regretted. Invisible Touch is the first (but not last) Genesis record with zero redeeming qualities, i.e. traces of when they were good, and the core trio of Tony Banks, Mike Rutherford and Phil Collins remain unrepentant millionaires and quite proud of their achievements in banality. Fuck them. Zero stars forever.
Steve Winwood – Back in the High Life
Poison – Look What the Cat Dragged In
Boston – Third Stage
Toto – Fahrenheit
Elton John – Leather Jackets
Cheap Trick – The Doctor
Yikes, what happened to Cheap Trick?
Stephen Thomas Erlewine of Allmusic stated “If any one record sums up all the ludicrous indulgence of ’80s record-making it’s The Doctor. Cluttered with cacophonic electronic drums and clanking with cheap overdriven synths, the record is cavernous and hollow, every instrument echoing endlessly in a fathomless digital stage. As sonic archaeology, this holds some interest, as it contains every bad record production idea of the mid-’80s – it’s as garish as its record cover.”
Allmusic gave The Doctor 1 of 5 possible stars, and as a lifelong fan who has actually sat through this record, I’m thinking that Allmusic was being too generous, and I’m taking that one star back, making The Doctor a true zero-star effort.
We now resume regularly scheduled programming.
1001 Albums You Must Hear Before You Die…Or Not: 1985-1986
Key:
Strikethrough indicates what you probably think it does
Green indicates highly recommended listening
Underlined indicates questionable but ultimately acceptable record
Blue bold italic indicates ABSOLUTELY MUST HEAR BEFORE YOU DIE
Note: Suggested alternatives are from the same year as the contested entry unless otherwise indicated
Also, anything in Red generally indicates hazardous material
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Abdullah Ibrahim – Water From An Ancient Well (1985)
I can’t be the only one who’d never heard of this South African pianist and composer until today. His music reflects influences ranging from traditional African songs to gospel, ragas, modern jazz and other Western styles. Maybe we need some of that right now.
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A-Ha – Hunting High And Low (1985)
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Dexys Midnight Runners – Don’t Stand Me Down (1985)
You have a finite amount of time in this life. Remember that. And seriously, this is like the third or fourth Dexy’s Midnight Runners album to make the book, and it’s absolute nonsense to say that anything other than their smash hit single “Come On Eileen” is Must Hear music.
Suggested Alternatives:
Hüsker Dü – New Day Rising
Meat Puppets – Up on the Sun
I’m not even going to get started on the riff about “How could they leave these two albums off the list and yet, recommend a band like A-Ha in good faith?”
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Dire Straits – Brothers In Arms (1985)
No matter what I have to say about this album, if you like Dire Straits, you’re gonna keep listening to them, come hell or high water. And I can take my snotty opinion and stuff it. Well, that’s fine. But let’s get something straight.
Mark Knopfler did not write a song that name-checks MTV, released it on a major label, and thought nobody would notice. The wonks at MTV went bananas when they heard “Money For Nothing”, especially when it featured a cameo from Sting, who just so happens to be reciting the MTV slogan (“I want my MTV”) to the tune of “Don’t Stand So Close to Me.” That sound you hear is money being printed with several snaps of several fingers.
And I couldn’t care less about the video, but according to various sources, Knopfler was “anti-video” and thought that “videos would destroy the purity of songwriters and performers.” And yet, what happened? They made a video. And it was a huge success. If you didn’t have a reason to dislike Sting, you did now.
When an artist essentially writes a jingle for the very same company that’s going to help sell 15 million copies of their latest album, it should be released with a disclaimer on the cover. Sponsored by MTV, Coca-Cola, Nike, etc. Make musicians wear NASCAR jumpsuits with the logo patches of every sponsor. You can talk about songwriting and musicianship all you want. There’s selling out and then there’s what Dire Straits did with “Money For Nothing”.
Now, the rest of Brothers In Arms exemplifies and contains everything I hate about modern rock-based choogle in four-minute servings. Dire Straits are everything that sucks about music and the music industry. Brothers in Arms is the most generic, banal, zero-sum, ambitionless, disposable product since rock music had a name.
Suggested Alternatives:
Celtic Frost – To Mega Therion
Having shared practice spaces with death metal bands, I’ve often wondered what kind of nut you could crack by playing in a death metal band. It’s exhaustive shit. On one hand, it’s nice that these Swiss kids in Celtic Frost took a serious interest in what they were doing and weren’t fucking around. Kudos. On the other hand, there’s not much you can do with it.
1-2-3-4! ARRRGAGGEGGGUUUUSHSHHHSHHHSHHHUUFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUAAAAAAAAAHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGG.
If you’ve ever played in a band with a practice space, odds are pretty good that you’ve had a death metal band in the building. I’ve had them as upstairs, downstairs, next door, and across-the-hall neighbors, and those downstairs cats generally played at jet engine levels and rarely took breaks. It was an incredibly unpleasant tsunami of sound. There were times when we couldn’t hear ourselves with everybody’s amps on 11 and the drummer using the butt end of his sticks. Eventually, we figured out their practice schedule and stopped coming in on Tuesday nights. It just wasn’t worth effort to battle against them. And what’s funny is that we talked to other bands in the building and they did the same thing. From that point forward, I always assumed that the main ambition of the average death metal band is to play so unbearably loud that you get the whole building to yourself.
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Kate Bush – Hounds Of Love (1985)
I have long suspected that I’m wired to dislike things that I don’t understand. For instance, I detest all things mathematic because I never got around to understanding algebra, algorithms, calculus, or trigonometry, or even why those applications might be useful later in life. They haven’t been useful or necessary by any stretch of imagination, but it’d be nice to have a decent grasp of Set Theory if you were desperately trying to get through Everything and More: A Concise History of ∞ by David Foster Wallace. Which I’ve been doing for five, seven years now? I hate math and I just don’t get it, so I cannot have an opinion about it.
Only when I understand something can I have an opinion. When Kate Bush is considered “art rock, experimental pop”, I’m dumbstruck.
Moreover, it’s not like I go out of my way to badmouth clearly photogenic women like Kate Bush; on the other hand, I will go out of my way to avoid her music. I hear it and I think, “Oh Christ, it’s Enya”, even though she’s ahead of Enya on the time table, and doesn’t really sound like Enya, or vice versa. There’s a quality of emotion in her music that I just. Don’t. Get.
Some people have a fantastical musical repartee with the Grateful Dead. Not me. But I understand that people find something remarkable about Kate Bush, and you could literally hit me over the head with it and I still wouldn’t hear it. I dunno. I feel like I’m defending myself.
Hounds of Love contains Bush’s signature cut, “Running Up That Hill (A Deal With God)” which may or may not be the gist of my problem with this music. Perhaps it contains a smidgen of art rock in the sense that it doesn’t exactly follow a traditional song pattern. And Bush sings like a bird, too. But this is adult contemporary music with a new wave edge, and I object to lumping this type of beautifully-tortured-soul music into the same genre as King Crimson, Genesis and Yes. Let’s call this what it is: Soccer Mom Boogie.
Suggested Alternatives:
The Cult – Love
Prince and the Revolution – Around the World in a Day
I was tempted to suggest The Breakfast Club soundtrack. Just for snicks. But seriously, Love is a solid hard rock recording and IMHO more of a Must Hear than their next album (Electric, 1987). The Cult deserve props for finding their groove and sticking to it.
Around the World in a Day is my second favorite Prince record, (Purple Rain is not my favorite, by a long shot), and probably the Purple One’s only foray into deep psychedelic rock. Anyway, the big hit from this record is the 60s psych-pop gem “Raspberry Beret” but “Pop Life” is the true hot jam. “Condition of the Heart” is very Bitches Brew meets Pet Sounds with Sherman Hemsley and Peabo Bryson, if you’re into that kind of thing.
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Mekons – Fear And Whiskey (1985)
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New Order – Low-Life (1985)
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Prefab Sprout – Steve McQueen (1985)
All three of these records have potentially redeeming qualities. Fear and Whiskey is considered one of the first alternative country albums. Meanwhile, Low-Life is considered one of the first post-punk alternative dance albums. And finally, Steve McQueen is considered the second Prefab Spout album. And all three sound like 1985 is jumping out of the speakers.
Suggested Alternatives:
Run-DMC – King of Rock
Articulation is saying what’s necessary to connect a couple of unrelated dots.
More Suggested Alternatives:
R.E.M. – Fables of the Reconstruction
The Dukes of Stratosphear – 25 O’Clock
Both of these records serve as potent reminders that not every band was rocking the sequencers and pastel neon jumpsuits.
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Scritti Politti – Cupid And Psyche 85 (1985)
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Simply Red – Picture Book (1985)
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Suzanne Vega – Suzanne Vega (1985)
Hell no. Scritti Politti is negligible synth-pop at best. AT BEST! Simply Red is adult contemporary easy listening rubbish. And Suzanne Vega, well, Joan Baez, here you go. OK, Suzie V. does make a decent or album or two in her time. Her debut isn’t it. Besides, it doesn’t contain her two signature songs, “Tom’s Diner” and “Luka”, both of which are on a record that came out in 1987 and we’ll get to it in due time. This one? No. Nope.
Suggested Alternative:
The Cure – The Head on the Door
By far the most influential pop rock record of 1985.
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Tears For Fears – Songs From The Big Chair (1985)
Shout, let it all out. These are the things I can do without. Come on, I’m talking to you. Come on.
I loved The Hurting, but I choked on this record. “Shout” was OK, but “Everybody Wants to Rule the World” and “Head Over Heels” both crossed the fruity line for me.
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The Fall – This Nation’s Saving Grace (1985)
Eh, shit. I listen to it every so often. I like some of it. Mostly, I feel obligated to listen.
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The Jesus & Mary Chain – Psychocandy (1985)
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The Pogues – Rum, Sodomy And The Lash (1985)
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The Smiths – Meat Is Murder (1985)
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Tom Waits – Rain Dogs (1985)
Straight-up, I can’t stand the Jesus & Mary Chain, but… Psychocandy is exceedingly capable. You should hear some of it. The Pogues are also not my bag, but Rum is a good place to drop a dime. I have serious reservations about Meat is Murder being Must Hear unless…you’re talking about the American version that contains “How Soon is Now?” which appeared as a B-side to “William, Was It Really Nothing?” If that jam is on the record, then yes, full speed ahead. And finally, if I could only recommend one Tom Waits record, Rain Dogs would be a nice choice.
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Afrika Bambaataa & The Soul Sonic Force – Planet Rock: The Album (1986)
Extremely influential record in hip-hop. In case there’s ever a time in your life when you wonder, “What are some of the most influential albums in hip-hop?”
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Anita Baker – Rapture (1986)
Dear Wikipedia:
Might you explain “quiet storm”?
Quiet storm is a radio format, musical style, and subgenre of R&B, featuring soulful slow jams, pioneered in the mid-1970s by then-station-intern Melvin Lindsey at WHUR-FM, in Washington, D.C. Smokey Robinson’s like-titled hit single, “A Quiet Storm”, released in 1975 as the title track to his third solo album, lent its name to the format and to the radio program that introduced it to the public. Encompassing a mix of African-American music genres, quiet storm music is distinguished by understated, mellow dynamics and relaxed tempos and rhythms. It can be soothingly pensive, or express romantic sentiment. Quiet storm music is similar to soft rock and adult contemporary styles, but it is more closely and unmistakably rooted in R&B and soul music, often with jazz extensions.
Today, quiet storm is a broad term given to an array of mellow, slow-groove contemporary R&B, soul and smooth jazz offerings of the type featured on Melvin Lindsey’s WHUR program, and on myriad other stations that followed his lead—most notably KBLX-FM in San Francisco, which in 1979 became the first radio station in the U.S. to present a 24-hour quiet storm format (which lasted 32 years, until the station was acquired in April 2011 by Entercom Broadcasting and converted to straight-ahead Urban AC format).
According to music journalist Jason King, quiet storm developed as a subgenre analogous to soft rock because it emphasized the more tender qualities of R&B:
“Sensuous and pensive, quiet storm is seductive R&B, marked by jazz flourishes, ‘smooth grooves,’ and tasteful lyrics about intimate subjects. As disco gave way to the ‘urban contemporary’ format at the outset of the 1980s, quiet storm expanded beyond radio to emerge as a broad catchall super-genre.”
Ben Fong-Torres of Rolling Stone called the genre a “blend of pop, jazz fusion, and R&B ballads – all elegant and easy-flowing, like a flute of Veuve Clicquot champagne”. And I don’t know about you, but I don’t need that kind of aggravation.
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Bad Brains – I Against I (1986) -
Beastie Boys – Licensed To Ill (1986)
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Big Black – Atomizer (1986)
You’ve been on the Bad Brains tip since Rock for Light (1982) so you might sleep on I Against I. Don’t do that.
Most aficionados will pooh-pooh Licensed to Ill, but you cannot underestimate its cultural influence and role in hip-hop’s crossover to white, middle class America.
Big Black is one of the seminal post-punk noise rock bands, and Atomizer is probably their most “fun” record. It’s too bad that I didn’t get turned on to this record when it came out. I suppose it was too indie or hipster or underground or arty for my crew. Anyway, it will be one of the most influential albums of the decade. Ever heard of the Pixies? Nirvana? And speaking of writing about music, Steve Albini is infamous for more than his fair share of literal spew.
- Billy Bragg – Talking With The Taxman About Poetry (1986)
- Bon Jovi – Slippery When Wet (1986)
There is no Must Hear Album with “poetry” in the title. Period. End of.
Bon Jovi is just one more reason to avoid mainstream hard-ish rock in this era. They were merely a symptom of a much larger problem in rock: aiming for the lowest common denominator. However, to paraphrase Rob Tyner of the MC5, you’re either part of the problem, or part of the solution.
Suggested Alternative:
David Lee Roth – Eat ‘Em and Smile
The irony of praising Big Black while also suggesting a David Lee Roth album is not lost on me. However…
After releasing the surprise hit EP Crazy from the Heat in early 1985, and subsequently parting ways with Van Halen, Roth recruited a new backing band: bassist Billy Sheehan (Mr. Big); drummer Gregg Bissonette (Ringo Starr and Elton John, among others); and guitarist Steve Vai, who had worked previously with Frank Zappa, PiL and Alcatrazz. Basically the hottest players at their chosen instrument in the business. The ultimate hired guns.
Eat ‘Em and Smile featured a hard rock sound, comparable with that of early Van Halen, albeit featuring eclectic forays into lounge, jazz, and speed metal. It was pure DLR. Both a critical and commercial success, Rolling Stone wrote that no song on Eat ‘Em and Smile was “as slick as any of the singles from Van Halen’s 5150 album,” and also avered that Eat ‘Em and Smile was much more “trashy fun”. Indeed, many of the reviews of Eat ‘Em And Smile compared it favorably to Van Halen’s synth-heavy 5150.
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Elvis Costello & The Attractions – Blood And Chocolate (1986)
I dunno. I don’t feel like I needed to hear this. I’ll tune in when he does that record with Paul McCartney. I’m thinking that might be a good time.
Suggested Alternatives:
Love & Rockets – Express
They Might Be Giants – They Might Be Giants
Two of the THE cool kid college dormitory records in 1986.
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Megadeth – Peace Sells … But Who’s Buying? (1986)
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Metallica – Master Of Puppets (1986)
Um. OK. Metal. Wow. Um. Gosh. Like. Riffs. Riffage. Violence. Death. We are a long way from “All I Wanted Was a Pepsi, and She Wouldn’t Give it to Me.” But… Yeah. Rockin’. Um. Fast. Juhga-hugga-hugga-juhga-jigga-jugh-jugha. Yeah. Screaming. Sounds like shit went in sour in your life, son. Changes. Changes. Three note riffs. Capital R riffs. Abundant. Solos. Modes. Um. OK. Both. Records. Yikes. Yeah. Metal, man. Metal as fuck.
Master of Puppets is the superior record, but don’t snooze on Megadeth. Peace Sells has several redeeming qualities, most notably a lead guitar player (Dave Mustaine) who could fly. Kirk Hammett used to operate a rickshaw service out of Carlos Santana’s auto body repair shop.
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Nanci Griffith – The Last Of The True Believers (1986)
Sure, why not?
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Paul Simon – Graceland (1986)
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Peter Gabriel – So (1986)
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Run-DMC – Raising Hell (1986)
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Slayer – Reign In Blood (1986)
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Sonic Youth – Evol (1986)
All six of the above records are Must Hear and if you need qualification, I suggest you do your homework and stop depending on me to sort things out. Just kidding. I’m hesitant to pull the trigger on Sonic Youth here because they have a couple of great records coming up.
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Steve Earle – Guitar Town (1986)
Hmm. Guitar Town. I wonder what kind of activities take place in Guitar Town? A lot of zzzz’s and hammer-downs? It only figures that the sheriff and his deputy are going to be involved. We’ve reached the Can You Blame Him? stage of singer-songwriters. Dude puts the cunt in country music, while taking the ock out of rock.
Suggested Alternative:
R.E.M. – Life’s Rich Pageant
Not getting enough fiber in your diet? The whole grain of Steve Earle isn’t producing solid results? R.E.M. has your heartland colon blow right here, recorded at John Cougar’s studio in Belmont, Indiana. By far my least favorite of their pre-Out of Time (1990) work, there are a couple of sweet cuts here, and a couple of clunkers that sound thrown together, exposing their songwriting limitations. “What If We Give It Away?” being the prime example. On the other hand, “Fall On Me” set a course for the Top 40. The guitars are big and tuff. The drums are bombastic. Michael Stipe’s voice is noticeably prominent in the mix for the first time in their discography. It’s the polar opposite of their previous record. While the success of Life’s Rich Pageant cleared their path to alternative rock dominance, it came at the expense of the R.E.M. mystique. No more making up your own words to songs. No more guessing at cryptic meanings. No more fun, basically. Here’s where R.E.M. starts to take themselves seriously.
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The Smiths – The Queen Is Dead (1986)
The debut album and The Queen Is Dead are the Smiths’ bookends on a brief but magical career. Yes, I know there’s another record coming (Strangeways, Here We Come, 1987), and it might even be a Must Hear. This is a slam dunk. The title track contains some of the best lyrics I’ve ever seen or heard.
Farewell to this land’s cheerless marches
Hemmed in like a boar between arches
Her very Lowness with her head in a sling
I’m truly sorry but it sounds like a wonderful thing
I say Charles don’t you ever crave
To appear on the front of the Daily Mail
Dressed in your Mother’s bridal veil?
So I checked all the registered historical facts
And I was shocked into shame to discover
How I’m the 18th pale descendent
Of some old queen or other
Oh has the world changed, or have I changed?
Oh has the world changed, or have I changed?
Some nine year old tough who peddles drugs on the street
I swear to God, I swear I never even knew what drugs were
So I broke into the Palace
With a sponge and a rusty spanner
She said, “Eh, I know you, and you cannot sing”
I said, That’s nothing – you should hear me play piano”
We can go for a walk where it’s quiet and dry
And talk about precious things
But when you are tied to your mother’s apron
No-one talks about castration
We can go for a walk where it’s quiet and dry
And talk about precious things
Like love and law and poverty
These are the things that kill me
We can go for a walk where it’s quiet and dry
And talk about precious things
But the rain that flattens my hair
These are the things that kill me
Pass the pub that saps your body
And the church who’ll snatch your money
The Queen is dead, boys
And it’s so lonely on a limb
Pass the pub that wrecks your body
And the church, all they want is your money
The Queen is dead, boys
And it’s so lonely on a limb
Life is very long, when you’re lonely
Life is very long, when you’re lonely
Life is very long, when you’re lonely
Life is very long, when you’re lonely
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The The – Infected (1986)
Considering the impending AIDS epidemic, this is an unfortunate album title, don’t you think?
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Throwing Muses – Throwing Muses (1986)
Not yet with these kids.
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XTC – Skylarking (1986)
Another gorgeous, simply phenomenal record You Must Hear Before You Die…Produced by Todd Rundgren.
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